#Winning

#Winning Most of my entries center around things Ive learned or experienced in my always interesting (if occasionally miserable) time trudging through the 4 years of masochistic glory that is MIT. This is not one of those entries. Instead, I want to focus on something much more grandiose, much more importantâ€"â€"and much MUCH geekier. It all started, as most nerd fights do, on twitter and facebook. (cue flashback music) Some brief background: MIT apparently leads the pack of Ivy+ institutions in Facebook page likes. Cornell is super jealous, and they started trash talking a bit with this message: Notice the comment about the Doonesbury girl. What theyre whining about is that in 2006, the writer of Doonesbury put up a poll on Doonesbury.com asking readers where Alex should go to college. As nerds procrastinating psets are want to do, MIT students hacked the poll and snagged 48% of the total votes in favor of MIT. Since such tactics werent explicitly forbidden (and because whod want to piss off such a pasty, intimidating tour-de-geek-force) the writer decided the will, chutzpah, and bodacious craft of the voting public will be respected. And in an admissions decision to surely make any student jealous, just like that Alex was going to MIT. In light of this complaint, MIT and Cornell have entered into a ficticious alumni faceoff, presumably because Cornell isnt tired of losing yet. The whole thing cant even be called a contest as much as an exhibition because theres absolutely no way Cornell can compete with the impressive list of fictional MIT alumni. But why let me tell you want to think (HINT: because Im right). Read on about them: FICITONAL MIT ALUMNI BIOGRAPHIES: Dilbert: Ok, maybe not super strong cool-guy out of the gate, but hes relatable, lovable and hes got the knack Gordon Freeman Physicist who shoots headcrabs. Looks like House. Boss. Benjamin Gates Steals declaration of independence, cracks codes hidden in plainsight on dollar bills, and uncovers huge hidden treasure. Will Hunting Janitor. Mathematician. How do you like them apples? Invisible Woman Mr. Fantastic That means half of the Fantastic 4 are from MIT. Apparently getting into the the elite super hero group is a bit easier than getting in. Bullwinkle Moose Yes, even non-humans aspire to grace the halls of the tvte. No word on where Rocky went. Lex Luthor Ok, maybe not a great example as far as Doing good things goes, but you cant deny that hes super smart. Maybe just a little malaligned. Howard Wollowitz Yeah.not neccesarily the best example for a lot of arguments either, but hes an engineer for NASA. He drives the martian rover. Thatmight be worth the neon mock-necks and tight pants. Maybe. and of course, our trump card: Tony Stark If the rest of the list didnt exist, wed still win with Tony Stark alone. The guy has it all. Wealth, women, cool cars, robot assistants, a sense of humor and charm, and genius enough to build a compact fusion reactor out of scraps in the desert, not to mention building his own mechatronic suit to be a superhero. No baby I was born this way origin story for him, no Wayne Corp. makes my stuff, I just buy it, Tony Stark designs, builds, and uses all of his stuff. Any doubts? Of course not. How could you compete with that?